Posts Tagged ‘marriage relationship’
By
Bob Lancer
Thursday, July 19th, 2012
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Stable marriages that are happy involve two individuals living in harmony with their respective True Selves.
To find the right person for you, be authentic.
We can define authenticity as the harmonious marriage of your personality to your True Self.
Your True Self consists of the ultimate will that drives you and your deep awareness of the truth.
Before you can successfully marry another, your personality must be harmoniously wedded with your True Self.
Your personality consists of the personal qualities you express to the world.
The personality more flexible than the True Self. It’s more malleable.
Personalities go through changes over the course of life. We often express opposite personality qualities in different situations.
Even in a SEEMINGLY intimate relationship we can convincingly pretend to be what we are not… at least for a while.
(To enjoy genuine intimacy, though, you need to be in an honest relationship with an authentic person.)
The qualities of your True Self do not change; they remain permanent.
A lasting, harmonious relationship requires each individual living true to his or her True Self. Otherwise there is no real relationship permanency.
Stable marriages that are happy involve two individuals living in harmony with their respective True Selves.
To find someone who is right for you, you need to first be happily married to your True Self.
The secret to achieving this “inner wedding” is to stay in touch with your deepest feelings.
When you consider a choice, look at your deepest feelings. If the choice is not right for you, often you can feel a sense of blockage, disconnection or “relationship break up” with your True Self within.
Your feelings tell you when you are being authentic; they also tell you when another is being authentic.
The individual who is in touch with his or her True Self wastes little or no time trying to build a relationship by trying to seem to be someone else, because if your True Self is not “good enough” you will never know real happiness in that relationship.
“Seek and you will find” is a true life-principle that applies to your quest to find the right person for you.
Looking for people who express superficial personality characteristics will lead you into an unfulfilling relationship that lacks real intimacy.
Seek a person who feels in harmony with your True Self to find your True Love.
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Posted in Marriage Relationships |
By
Bob Lancer
Monday, July 16th, 2012
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Happy, loving people attract happy, loving people and build beautiful, lasting relationships.
Sometimes we presume that we have a “relationship problem” when what we really have is an emotional problem.
I recently did a relationship counseling session with a young woman who said that she has desperately wanted to be married with children for many years (she was around 35 years of age).
Her happy relationship dream has failed to come true though, and each year she has grown more and more unhappy with her life because of that.
She complained that the single guys she has had brief relationships with invariably turn out to be “jerks” very quickly.
A little exploration into her relationship history revealed that she had a pattern of angry rage when she felt let down by her boyfriend that soon culminated in a relationship break up.
Here is the relationship wisdom that attempted to share with her.
The longer we blame our circumstances or other people for our unhappy outlook, the more deeply engrained our pattern of unhappiness grows.
This means that we feel HABITUALLY unhappy,no matter what happens in our lives.
Your attitude and emotional reactions are NOT dependent upon whether or not you have a loving relationship.
But if you believe that enjoyment of life is impossible unless you have a mate who lives up to your expectations, you condemn yourself to a sorrowful plight.
In addition, as long as you express this emotionally dependency, you really cannot attract or find a positive, emotionally balanced person to bond with.
Emotional negativity will REPEL emotionally healthy people and ATTRACT people who are emotionally weak and unreliable.
The way to marital bliss begins with developing your ability to live in unconditional love and joy.
Happy, loving people attract happy, loving people and build beautiful, lasting relationships.
Take your first step in this direction by taking total responsibility for your emotional reactions and the attitudes toward your life and toward the people in your life.
Then patiently and persistently work on living with more trust that whatever is happening, as you also trust that as long as you remain open to receive the great relationship you want, it will come.
As you develop your ability to live in unconditional love and happiness, your “relationship problem” will disappear.
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
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Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, attract happy, build beautiful, emotional problem, emotional reactions, emotionally balanced person, emotionally dependency, emotionally healthy people, enjoyment of life, find a positive, Find Marital Bliss, happy relationship, have a mate who lives up to your expectations, lasting relationships, live in unconditional love and joy, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, loving people, loving relationship, marital bliss, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, married with children, pattern of unhappiness, receive the great relationship, relationship, relationship advice, relationship break-up, relationship communication, relationship counseling, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship problem, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationship wisdom, relationships advice, single guys
Posted in Relationship Help |
By
admin
Thursday, May 24th, 2012
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
The signs of true self-expression include feelings of self-confidence, security and liberation. To the extent that you express your real self in the now, you feel in love with your life.
Here is a simple secret for a happier relationship: be more authentic.
You might believe that you are already totally authentic, a pure expression of your true self.
But to the extent that you conflict with your mate, or engage in a contentious power-struggle with your child, your boss, your co-worker, or with a client, you are actually in conflict WITH YOURSELF.
Whenever you experience any dissatisfaction in any relationship, the real cause is your unconscious departure from being your true self.
The most basic relationship wisdom-solution to any relationship problem is to improve your connection with who you truly are. To more completely discover and express your true self is to feel more content and fulfilled.
Stop trying to figure out what is “wrong” with anyone else, or what is “wrong” with your relationship.
Concentrate on being more true to yourself to feel centered in peace, harmony, and joy.
The signs of true self-expression include feelings of self-confidence, security and liberation. To the extent that you express your real self in the now, you feel in love with your life.
The next time that you feel annoyed with your mate, or disturbed by anyone else for that matter, focus on getting more clearly and deeply in touch with your own true self.
Stop complaining about what another person did that you dislike and instead think about who you truly are.
It might help to silently ask the question: “Who am I?” over and over, with your mind open to what comes up.
Don’t answer the question intellectually by thinking about personal information, like your sex, your name, your job, your family role.
Just direct your focus of attention within in a relaxed, unstrained effort to gradually, more and more deeply uncover the mystery of the true you.
Persevere in this quest of watchful inner openness until you gradually feel a growing, expanding, strengthening sense of clear inner knowing.
This practice attunes you to the wise inner guidance that constantly flows from the core of who you really are, dissolving all sense of conflict as you feel yourself being more and more truly yourself.
Only false and superficial notions of the self lead us into conflict. More authenticity is the secret for a happier relationship.
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
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Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, annoyed with your mate, conflict with your mate, express your real self, feel in love, improve your connection, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, power-struggle, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship problem, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationship wisdom, relationships advice, secret for a happier relationship, self-confidence, Stop complaining, the secret for a happier relationship, true self-expression, what is “wrong” with your relationship
Posted in Advice for Relationship |
By
Bob Lancer
Monday, April 30th, 2012
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Relate in a calm, confident, natural, harmonious way and your relationships will work out wonderfully.
Every relationship is a wisdom school.
Whether you are involved in a moment of intimacy in your marriage, or a 3 minute business meeting with a client, there is always a higher purpose that brings two people together in the now.
Even dealing with a break up gives you an opportunity to learn and to grow.
If you focus on what you can learn while experiencing, say, a problem in communication in your marriage, you will find yourself well served by your effort.
In business relationships, as in personal relationships, you have an opportunity for self-improvement, and as you improve yourself, you improve your life.
As you work on forging a genuine bond of love with everyone, including difficult people, you strengthen your ability to build trust in a relationship and you create alliances that will support you on unseen levels.
Relationship compatibility takes care of itself when you remain compatible with your true self.
Often those who desperately want to know how to save a marriage would find their marriage improving if they stopped working so hard to save it!
Relate in a calm, confident, natural, harmonious way and your relationships will work out wonderfully.
Whatever form of relationship you are in, be it a friendship, a business or a romantic relationship, don’t PREtend, INtend.
Know what you intend to accomplish.
Before each encounter, think about what you want to achieve. Think about the outcome you really and truly want for the two of you.
To improve communication in relationships, for instance, before you connect with a person with whom you have a communication problem, spend some time thinking of the way you want the communication between you to flow.
Envision yourself speaking and listening calmly and confidently. Imagine a wonderful bond of loving harmony and understanding blossoming between you. Imagine the two of you better off because of the time you spent together.
Here is how to fix a relationship: fix your inner vision on the way
that you really want the relationship to flow.
Waste no effort trying to coerce or force another to cooperate with you in any way.
Remember that every relationship is a wisdom school teaching you how to achieve all that you want in life.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
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Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, how to save a marriage, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationship wisdom, relationships advice
Posted in Relationship Help |
By
Bob Lancer
Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
To attract wonderful people and to enjoy great relationships maintain your emotional balance in response to other people.
While most people look forward to falling in love, it is at that crucial beginning point of a new relationship when many of us need relationship help the most.
When you “fall” for someone and slip into emotional desperation due to your high hopes for that new relationship, your emotional chaos risks a break up.
This is because emotionally reactions “de-magnetize” our power of attraction.
Whether it is a romantic relationship, a new business relationship, or even a very promising friendship maintaining your emotional balance protects your positive attraction power.
No matter how high your hopes may be, no personal relationship can really improve your life. Your destiny is determined by YOU.
To attract people who are really right for you, you have to be really right for yourself.
The more you genuinely respect yourself, the more genuine respect others will show you.
The more truly kind and caring you are the more kindness and care you bring out from others.
Getting very excited because you think that someone will make your most precious dreams come true actually lowers, or may even entirely eliminate, the odds of those dreams coming true.
This same principle of attraction applies when you react with strong negative emotion toward someone. When you very feel angry, frustrated or resentful, you lower your power to attract positive, loving individuals.
Just as no person can really “save” or rescue you from your problems, no one can really undermine your good fortune or sabotage your success – no one other than you.
In fact, while you worry about how another person may be working against you, you are working against yourself by worrying about that!
To attract wonderful people and to enjoy great relationships maintain your emotional balance in response to other people.
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
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Tags: a new business relationship, advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, attract people, attract wonderful people, attraction power, break up, emotional balance, enjoy great relationships, Falling in love, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, new relationship, personal relationship, power of attraction, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationships advice, respect others, respect yourself, romantic relationship
Posted in Wisie for Love Advice |
By
Bob Lancer
Friday, March 16th, 2012
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Advice for relationships can help you lead a more satisfying life.
There is no such thing as relationship advice that can help you find the “perfect relationship.”
We do not find relationship perfection in professional relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships, at least not in the sense of the relationship living up to our highest hopes on a constant basis.
Even the most harmonious marriage hits trouble spots.
When we fall in love it seems that this really IS our perfect match, but all too soon this state of blissful compatibility proves to be a transitory, if not an illusory experience.
Being alone is not the answer. As wonderful as spending quality time with yourself can feel, solitary existence eventually starts feeling lonely and confining, and enforced isolation turns into a most severe form of torture.
And yet our yearning for relationship satisfaction can become distracting, diverting too much attention from other important matters, like:
- Earning a living
- Achieving professional goals
- Contributing something worthwhile to the world
- Developing your individual gifts and abilities
- Exploring your individual interests
- Maintaining sound physical health and fitness
- Following your own true spiritual path
So as important as relationships are, we can make them too important.
This happens when we count on another person too heavily to rescue us when we feel unhappy, when we feel insecure, when we feel a lacking in self-esteem.
Even the best relationship will not provide you with a non-stop supply of personal gratification, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual and sexual satisfaction.
The same relationship that seems wonderfully enchanting today can seem like an unbearably difficult relationship tomorrow.
Realistic expectations help us to place relationships in proper perspective.
We need to develop the inner fortitude, focus and balance to pass through both the highs and lows of love and marriage, friendship and professional alliances without losing our practical foothold on life.
You develop this fortitude by striving to go through the experience of getting your way and of not getting your way without losing your way.
When you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride due to a relationship problem, remain dedicated as you can be to avoid losing your focus on meeting the rest of your needs for whole, balanced, successful life.
While there is no such thing as relationship advice that can help you find the “perfect relationship”, following this advice for relationships can help you lead a more satisfying life.
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Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, blissful compatibility, difficult relationship, fall in love, feel insecure, feel unhappy, feeling lonely, find the perfect relationship, important as relationships, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage hits trouble, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, on an emotional roller coaster, perfect match, quality time, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship satisfaction, relationship tips, relationships advice, romantic relationships, self-esteem, sexual satisfaction, the best relationship
Posted in Advice for Relationship |
By
Bob Lancer
Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
To enjoy more lasting love in a relationship with another, develop a more stable, completely loving relationship with yourself.
Any really worthwhile relationship advice focuses first and foremost on the quality of one’s relationship with oneself.
The first step to improve your relationship with another is to fix your relationship with yourself.
Relationship help tips:
- Whenever you wish that another would treat you better, focus on treating yourself better.
- Whenever you worry about what another might think of you, redirect your attention to the more important factor of what you think of yourself.
This relationship wisdom applies to a romantic relationship, a friendship, and even to a business relationship.
The fact is that while you feel critical of another for treating you poorly you are actually treating yourself poorly.
And when you think that another is thinking poorly of you, you are actually thinking poorly of yourself.
In both these instances, the relationship that has drifted off track is the relationship between YOU AND YOU.
One secret to “keeping love alive” in a relationship with another is cultivating a loving relationship with yourself.
The next time that you want to resolve a conflict with another focus on recognizing and resolving your conflict with yourself.
The only real block that one experiences regarding physical intimacy is a block to emotional intimacy with oneself.
As you open up to your deeper inner feelings, and let yourself feel however you happen to feel, including your subtlest mood, attitude, and desire you can feel more deeply bonded on every level with another.
To enjoy more lasting love in a relationship with another, develop a more stable, completely loving relationship with yourself.
Thinking well of yourself is the underlying basis for treating yourself well and forming and maintaining good relationships with others.
In this blog, please share your thoughts regarding this relationship advice? Does it make sense? Can you provide some examples in your own life that prove or disprove its validity? Let’s begin a dialogue about the value and application of this relationship wisdom.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, business relationship, feel more deeply bonded, Fix Your Relationship, good relationships, improve your relationship, lasting love, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, loving relationship, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, physical intimacy, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, Relationship help tips, relationship quotes, relationship that has drifted off track, relationship tips, relationship wisdom, relationships advice, resolve a conflict, resolving your conflict, romantic relationship, secret to “keeping love alive”
Posted in Relationship Advice |
By
Bob Lancer
Thursday, January 19th, 2012
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Simply practice trusting in your love-life fulfillment, and your POWER TO TRUST WILL GROW.
Applying wisdom in your relationships produces great relationships.
Bringing more wisdom into how you relate is how to have a better relationship.
You don’t have to change your mate for a happy marriage. You simply have to grow wiser.
You CAN have the fulfilling love-relationship that your heart desires!
One essential aspect of the wisdom in relationships that makes that happen is training yourself to unconditionally trust in this.
When we DOUBT that we can have the satisfying love-relationship that
we crave, we are doing the OPPOSITE of how to have a better relationship.
TRUST that your satisfying, happy marriage is INEVITABLE and that NOTHING is preventing it from happening. If you actually practice this, you will discover that this is an amazing key for how to have a better relationship.
Here is a wisdom-in-relationships exercise for harnessing the power of trust:
- Recognize when you experience even the SLIGHTEST DOUBT that your dream of relationship love will be fulfilled.
- Write out that doubt. In other words, write a brief statement expressing the doubt, like, “I doubt that I will ever find happiness in marriage.”
- Then turn that statement into one that expresses trust, by writing something like: “I trust that my love relationship fulfillment is absolutely guaranteed.
- Then repeat that positive statement over and over, trying to feel the truth of it, imagining how you would feel if you knew with perfect certainty that your love-life fulfillment is really assured.
Contribute to the relationship wisdom of the world by sharing your experience of this exercise, and your thoughts and questions
about harnessing the power of trust in this blog.
So even if you find yourself alone on a Saturday night, even when you and your mate have another pointless fight,
Don’t mentally dwell on any condition that you do not want to come about.Instead, trust that your fulfillment in love is absolutely guaranteed.
Simply practice trusting in your love-life fulfillment, and your POWER TO TRUST WILL GROW.
At the same time, your fulfillment in love will grow, as you apply this wisdom. In relationships, we are as happy as we are wise.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, inspiration for love, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationships advice, wisdom for love, wisdom for marriage, wisdom in relationships
Posted in Relationship Advice |
By
Bob Lancer
Thursday, January 19th, 2012
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
The help I need is self-help for more peace, joy and love.
As we gain wisdom for love, we experience more love in our relationships.
When I’m experiencing a problem in my marriage, my first tendency is to think about what my mate has done “wrong”.
But I find this line of thought offering me NO relationship help.
I then remember that the quality of my experiences is a reflection of my level of wisdom.
The more wisely I handle what is happening, the more satisfying the results.
When I am feeling angry, I am in need of more wisdom for love.
I don’t need my mate to change. I need to change. I need to develop more mastery. A higher level of skill and wisdom improves my experience of my relationship.
The help I need is self-help for more peace, joy and love.
When I remember this, I look at my level of frustration in my relationship as an indication of my need to learn how to better deal with what is happening.
This helps me to let go of my frustrated reaction and sort of open my heart and mind to a higher level of inner guidance.
As I open my heart and mind to receive the inner flow of more wisdom for love, I am no longer envisioning my mate as difficult, as wrong, or as my problem at all.
My problem, my challenge, is to receive the relationship help I need from within.
Here is an exercise that you can do right now for a better relationship:
Relax and consider how you can better handle your present relationship. You might do this by simply asking yourself the question: “What can I do to experience more love and satisfaction in my relationship?”
Follow the question by trusting that an answer, an insight will come.
Please feel welcome to share in this blog the relationship help or wisdom for love that you receive, from within.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationships advice, wisdom for love
Posted in Wisie for Love Advice |
By
Bob Lancer
Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
One wisdom key for better relationships is growing into a better person
It’s simple: a key to enjoying better relationships is for us to grow into better people.
This doesn’t mean that if you are feeling dissatisfied in a relationship that you must be a “bad” person.
You can be a WONDERFUL person. In fact, you probably are pretty special to be interested in a wisdom blog like this. You are looking for answers. And that’s great, because as the Biblical Quote states: “Seek and you shall find”.
Having worked with couples for DECADES I have come up with one very simple formula for how to save a marriage from destructive conflict.
Instead of relying on criticizing your mate OR YOURSELF, work on being a better person.
By a “better person” I mean pursuing the fulfillment of your higher vision of yourself. I have found this to be a powerful key to better relationships.
You can start anywhere. For instance, I love writing. So one way that I can grow into a better version of myself is to work on becoming a better writer. I do this by writing profusely, including blogging weekly, and by reading literature by writers that I admire. I also have the audacity to routinely visualize myself as a great writer, superior even to Shakespeare!
You might wonder, “how does growing as a writer equate with how to save a marriage.”
Once again, it’s simple! I feel better about myself when I pursue my dream, and as I witness my writing skills improving, I feel happier too.
Feeling good about myself and happy in my life makes me more loving, kind, and easier to get along with!
Here are two exercises for growing into a better person for better relationships:
In what ways do YOU want to become a better person? Take a few moments to make a list of the self-improvements you want to make.
In what instances do you rely on complaining and criticizing for better relationships? Think of at least one way that you can improve
your handling of those instances.
This blog is your opportunity to contribute to a WORLD that displays higher relationship wisdom.
Please share the results of your exercises in the blog.
Become part of the world’s relationship solutions.
There are MANY ways that I want to grow. I want to be less emotionally reactive when my mate does not see things my way. I want to express more kindness in my way of handling issues.
I have seen this formula for how to save a marriage from strife work in my own marriage and in many of the relationships that I have had the privilege of serving.
So one wisdom key for better relationships is growing into a better person.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Tags: advice for relationship, advice on relationships, advice relationship, better relationships, love advice, love and relationships, love relationship, love relationships, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, relationship advice, relationship communication, relationship guide, relationship help, relationship quotes, relationship tips, relationships advice, save relationship, save your marriage
Posted in Relationship Advice |
