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Relationship Advice For Intimacy

By Bob Lancer
Friday, July 27th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Relationship Quotes

A relationship can only remain intimate as long as both partners remain self-honest and self-aware.

Intimate love in relationships thrives on withholding as much as it does on giving.

If you help or give to the point that you feel used, taken for granted or just plain overly depleted, you smother the flame of your passion for your mate.

Letting your mate take too much of your attention, time or energy plants seeds of resentment in your heart that will close you off to intimacy in your marriage.

Help, for instance, is a wonderful gift to offer, but there is such a thing as helping too much.

Relationships with intimacy problems display passive-aggressive behaviors, including the following:

  • You find yourself constantly criticizing the other person.
  • You pick petty squabbles.
  • You defensively argue even when you see the other’s point.
  • You find excuses to stay away to be preoccupied.

These are examples of passive-aggressive relationship break-up tactics employed, usually unconsciously, to establish physical and emotional distance.

While this love advice may seem like a contradiction, we need to skillfully establish personal boundaries for a truly intimate relationship.

In most cases, your boundaries cannot be crossed without YOUR cooperation.

Relationship advice to release more intimacy in your marriage: pay close attention to recognize when you are helping, giving, or doing too much for your mate.

When that happens, don’t blame your mate for allowing you to give too much or for taking too much. You are responsible for establishing your own natural, comfortable, healthy boundaries for intimacy in your relationship.

Being more aware of what YOU are doing releases your inner relationship wisdom to guide you in setting limits.

When it comes to setting limits on what you will give and what you will accept, your own intuitive feelings are all you really have to go on for the best advice.

A relationship can only remain intimate as long as both partners remain self-honest and self-aware. Then you can establish personal boundaries that protect and permit intimacy to blossom.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Fall In Love… With Wisdom

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Fall In Love… With Wisdom

To attract wonderful people and to enjoy great relationships maintain your emotional balance in response to other people.

While most people look forward to falling in love, it is at that crucial beginning point of a new relationship when many of us need relationship help the most.

When you “fall” for someone and slip into emotional desperation due to your high hopes for that new relationship, your emotional chaos risks a break up.

This is because emotionally reactions “de-magnetize” our power of attraction.

Whether it is a romantic relationship, a new business relationship, or even a very promising friendship maintaining your emotional balance protects your positive attraction power.

No matter how high your hopes may be, no personal relationship can really improve your life.  Your destiny is determined by YOU.

To attract people who are really right for you, you have to be really right for yourself.

The more you genuinely respect yourself, the more genuine respect others will show you.

The more truly kind and caring you are the more kindness and care you bring out from others.

Getting very excited because you think that someone will make your most precious dreams come true actually lowers, or may even entirely eliminate, the odds of those dreams coming true.

This same principle of attraction applies when you react with strong negative emotion toward someone.  When you very feel angry, frustrated or resentful, you lower your power to attract positive, loving individuals.

Just as no person can really “save” or rescue you from your problems, no one can really undermine your good fortune or sabotage your success – no one other than you.

In fact, while you worry about how another person may be working against you, you are working against yourself by worrying about that!

To attract wonderful people and to enjoy great relationships maintain your emotional balance in response to other people.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Relationship Tips For Relationship Bliss

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

"Love Advice"

Envisioning yourself in a wonderful intimate union moves you toward that wonderful fulfillment.

How many really happy married couples do you know?

Do you know ANY that experience the kind of loving harmony and deep relationship satisfaction that you would like in your own love-life?

When we look at an intimate relationship from “the outside” we may imagine that it contains beautiful qualities of a “perfect match”, when the truth may be far from that.

You never REALLY know what goes on between two people in private.

You don’t even know for certain what is going on within two people while they APPEAR to be perfectly compatible and blissfully happy together.

All you can REALLY know is what you are imagining about any given relationship condition.

Even your own relationship, or your experience of having no close relationship, is an imaginary condition.

The moment you begin thinking about a great relationship, or about a relationship problem, you are viewing a mental vision of harmonious companionship or in harmonious companionship.

Thinking of yourself being without an intimate relationship means that you are viewing a mental representation of yourself being alone.

And here is the crucial point: You create what you imagine!

To feel deprived of marital bliss, you must imagine yourself in a relationship condition that is lacking in the love you want, and what you imagine you create in your life.

What you imagine to be true about your love-life creates physical conditions that match that thought.

Envisioning yourself in a wonderful intimate union moves you toward that wonderful fulfillment.

Envisioning yourself in an unhappy conflict or lonely situation creates matching physical conditions in your future.

Perhaps the main reason why we see so many tragic break ups, so many couples in strife, so much anxiety about romance, so much sad loneliness in the world is because so few people understand the creative power of their imagination and how to use it.

Relationship Tips For Relationship Bliss:

  1. Notice what you are thinking about.
  2. Drop thoughts of relationship problems by focusing your attention on your present experience, without thinking of your past or future.
  3. When you feel calm and relaxed, create mental images of yourself in totally fulfilling harmony with the true and perfect love of your life. Try to feel the sense of satisfaction that would bring you on all levels, including the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual.

Share in this blog the results you experience when you apply these relationship tips for for relationship bliss.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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How To Feel More Secure In Every Relationship – A Cure For Jealousy

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

"Wisdom for love"

Trust that you are worthy of love.

Conceiving of yourself as worthy of love is important relationship advice.

Trust that you are worthy of love.  Advice like this, if followed, can save a marriage.

Any self-concept that that causes you to feel UNWORTHY of love can jeopardize a relationship.

Help yourself to feel more secure by NOT holding on to any idea of yourself that makes you feel inadequate.

How you think about YOURSELF impacts your feeling of security in love and relationships.

Here are 2relationship tips to help you to feel secure in your marriage and in relationships of all kinds:

1. If you worry about another’s disloyalty or infidelity, look within yourself to recognize and release yourself from ideas of yourself as being unworthy.

2. Open your mind and heart to ideas of yourself that inspire you with feelings of self-respect and security.

Anyone who feels truly secure about themselves does not worry about a friend or lover being unfaithful.

If you are feeling jealous or insecure in your relationship, you probably incite relationship strife.

Follow this relationship advice for more relationship harmony: take a closer, deeper look at your ideas of yourself.

You are bold, beautiful, strong, intelligent, successful, and totally good.  No inferior idea of yourself is worth holding onto.

You have the power to createthe wonderful life, and to attract the wonderful relationships, that you desire.

You are worthy of love and respect and as long as you trust that you areyou attract great people who feel that way and who treat you that way.

Here is an exercise for a better relationship based on the love advicethat may cure jealousy and insecurity, being presented here:

  1. Take an honest look at your concept, idea, or mental image of yourself.
  2. Write down the first 5 traits that you think of.
  3. Next, write down 5 additional traits that you would like to be true about you, traits that would help you to feel more secure about yourself
  4. Imagine how you would feel if you actually possessed those ideal traits
  5. Finally, practice living in those positive feelings about yourself.

You don’t need to live in imaginary thought-dreams that make you feel insecure ina relationship.

Do this exercise to help you to feel more secure in every relationship. Please share your thoughts, questions and experiences related to this relationship advice in this blog.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Receive Inner Wisdom For Love

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

"Wisdom of love"

The help I need is self-help for more peace, joy and love.

As we gain wisdom for love, we experience more love in our relationships.

When I’m experiencing a problem in my marriage, my first tendency is to think about what my mate has done “wrong”.

But I find this line of thought offering me NO relationship help.

I then remember that the quality of my experiences is a reflection of my level of wisdom.

The more wisely I handle what is happening, the more satisfying the results.

When I am feeling angry, I am in need of more wisdom for love.

I don’t need my mate to change.  I need to change. I need to develop more mastery. A higher level of skill and wisdom improves my experience of my relationship.

The help I need is self-help for more peace, joy and love.

When I remember this, I look at my level of frustration in my relationship as an indication of my need to learn how to better deal with what is happening.

This helps me to let go of my frustrated reaction and sort of open my heart and mind to a higher level of inner guidance.

As I open my heart and mind to receive the inner flow of more wisdom for love, I am no longer envisioning my mate as difficult, as wrong, or as my problem at all.

My problem, my challenge, is to receive the relationship help I need from within.

Here is an exercise that you can do right now for a better relationship:

Relax and consider how you can better handle your present relationship. You might do this by simply asking yourself the question: “What can I do to experience more love and satisfaction in my relationship?”

Follow the question by trusting that an answer, an insight will come.

Please feel welcome to share in this blog the relationship help or wisdom for love that you receive, from within.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Harness Speech With Love

By Bob Lancer
Monday, December 12th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Love Advice

Speech is like a powerful, wild horse

In all of our relationships, but especially in our deepest love-relationships, our words carry tremendous power for hurt or for healing.

The wisie for relationship-wisdom video, “Harness The Mighty Power of Speech” opens with the statement: “Speech is like a powerful, wild horse.”

Later that video says, “When untrained, it leads us astray…”

These statements, and this wisie as a whole, reminds us that relationship communication needs to be at least SOMEWHAT under our conscious control to produce the beautiful results that we truly desire.

Relationship harmony rarely lasts by accident. It is like a splendid flower that we must care for.

As we make the effort to guide our speech with more awareness, love and wisdom, we discover increasing power to produce and preserve the sweet joy of love through heart-nurturing relationship communication.

In what instances do you tend to lose conscious command of your

speech, inciting strife?

Describe how you would LOVE your mate to communicate with you on a consistent basis?

In this blog, feel welcome to share your experiences, thoughts and questions about the relationship between communication and love.

Relationships DEPEND upon communication. For clear, constructive and truly loving communication we need to speak calmly.

As it says in the wisie relationship video quoted above, “When you feel very emotional, your speech is more difficult to direct…”

How often have we spoken too rashly, causing needless hurt and strife in a relationship with someone we love?

ALL of our relationships will go so much more smoothly as we harness “the wild horse” of speech with love and wisdom.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Correct Correction Wisdom

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Relationship Advice

Correcting correctly means that you respond to what you do not want in a way proves truly helpful rather than hurtful.

In your love relationship, do you know how to correct correctly?

Correcting correctly means that you respond to what you do not want in a way proves truly helpful rather than hurtful.

No person can be expected to please us all the time. And there is no love advice that you can follow that will alter this fact of life.

To be truly wise in our relationships, we need to master the art of dealing with what we do not like.

One place to begin improving your response for a happier love relationship is to be self-honest about how you presently handle what your spouse does that you dislike.

You can always bring more joy, love, inner peace and fulfillment into the way you deal with ANY aspect of your life.

Whatever it is that your mate does that frustrates you the most presents you with a great opportunity to develop your wise self-control.

Love advice for a happier relationship:
The next time you find yourself feeling annoyed with your mate, focus your attention on how you go about correcting the situation.

Make it your aim to:

  • Be more calm, content, confident and kind
  • Avoid complaining or harshly criticizing
  • Patiently consider your options for improving the situation with love

What tactics do you typically employ to “correct” your mate?

What does your mate say or do that you most often feel the NEED to correct?

In this blog, share your thoughts or questions regarding
how to correct correctly in a marriage.

Commitment in a marriage means far more than merely staying together through thick and thin.

It means committing to making the experience as wonderful as you possibly can for your mate, yourself, and, if you have kids, for your kids as well.

As you work on improving how you attempt to correct your mate, your love relationship will feel more and more correct.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

From Clashing To Calmness

By Bob Lancer
Monday, November 7th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Relationship Advice

Only when you feel calm during your interaction with another can you connect with your own deeper guiding wisdom and make choices in line with your true needs.

In marriage and other relationships there comes a point, from time to time, when we hit an impasse.

We reach that point when our best efforts to get agreement, understanding or cooperation apparently come to no avail.

When you reach this point in a relationship, discipline yourself to avoid straining yourself in an effort to influence the uncooperative person in any way.

Though you might feel tempted to lose your temper and fight on, concentrate on remaining calm.

Harmonious Relationship Guide: Only when you feel calm during your interaction with another can you connect with your own deeper guiding wisdom and make choices in line with your true needs.

When you lose your composure you lose your ability to connect well with YOURSELF.

That is when you may begin making poor choices that cause you
to feel worse, and blame your suffering on
the other person’s unreasonableness.

In marriage or other relationships, when do you find it hardest to keep calm?

What do others say or do that triggers your urge to step up the intensity of your conflict with that person?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how to deal with difficult people?

Harmonious Relationship Guide: Resisting your urge to clash intensely with another person allows you to clarify what you need from YOU.

In marriage and other relationships try relaxing and trusting, instead of slipping into fear, when you seem unable to control an uncooperative person.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Love For Love

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Love Relationships

Practice living in the feelings you associate with complete relationship satisfaction.

Love-relationships form around feelings of love.

For the loving relationship experience that you want, become aware of the FEELING that you associate with being in your ideal relationship.

This attracts to you to the person and the quality of personal connection you are looking for.

The more consistently you remain in this loving feeling of satisfying connection the stronger your power of harmonious relationship attraction.

Dwelling in feelings of resentment, animosity or dissatisfaction detunes you from feelings of love.

Relationships then grow increasingly acrimonious as we attract more contention into our lives.

Loving-Relationship Tips:

  • Practice living in the feelings you associate with complete relationship satisfaction.
  • When you slip into feelings that you associate with DISSATISFACTION in a relationship, work on re-focusing on feelings of relationship satisfaction as soon as possible.

The more time you spend living in the feelings of total relationship satisfaction, the stronger your attunement to those feelings grow.

As a result, you will find yourself manifesting more and more fulfillment in love.

What causes you to lose touch with your feelings
of total relationship satisfaction?

What are some of the things you need to be happening in a relationship for you to feel completely fulfilled?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about the challenges of finding satisfaction in relationships.

As you practice remaining attuned to feelings of relationship satisfaction you attract more of what you want in a relationship.

Avoid the common love-relationships mistake of waiting for a relationship to MAKE you feel fulfilled.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Grow More Loving

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Would you like to experience more love in your relationships? The advice to follow for that is simply this:

Make it one of your primary commitments
in life to grow more loving.

Love Advice

Bring more love into your closes relationships to inspire those you care so much about to make good choices for themselves.

Growing more loving in your close, personal love-relationships is about the most worthwhile ambition you can have.

Bringing more love into the lives of those you care most about is the greatest gift you can give them, because it helps them to love themselves.

Here are two love-advice quotes that can help to make this clear:

  1. “Bring more love into your closes relationships to inspire those you care so much about to make good choices for themselves.”
  2. “Your love leads others to be loving, and loving is pure joy.”

This love-relationships advice relates to the gift our love gives others AND ourselves.

Loving is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, because loving is fulfilling and it guides you to live well.

In what ways do the people you feel most deeply connected to behave that trigger your Unloving reactions?

How do you think that your growing into a more loving person would be helpful or beneficial to yourself and those you care most about?

Share YOUR thoughts and questions about how love is a gift in this blog.

When we feel frustrated with others, in the confusion of our emotional stress we blame them for the pain of our reaction. But that pain is actually something we deliver to ourselves by slipping out of our loving mode.

Put this love-relationships advice into action: Every time you feel yourself becoming frustrated with another, strive to be at least a little more loving – thus you GROW more fulfilled and wise.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.