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Relationship Wisdom: Keys To Find Marital Bliss

By Bob Lancer
Monday, July 16th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Relationship Help

Happy, loving people attract happy, loving people and build beautiful, lasting relationships.

Sometimes we presume that we have a “relationship problem” when what we really have is an emotional problem.

I recently did a relationship counseling session with a young woman who said that she has desperately wanted to be married with children for many years (she was around 35 years of age).

Her happy relationship dream has failed to come true though, and each year she has grown more and more unhappy with her life because of that.

She complained that the single guys she has had brief relationships with invariably turn out to be “jerks” very quickly.

A little exploration into her relationship history revealed that she had a pattern of angry rage when she felt let down by her boyfriend that soon culminated in a relationship break up.

Here is the relationship wisdom that attempted to share with her.

The longer we blame our circumstances or other people for our unhappy outlook, the more deeply engrained our pattern of unhappiness grows.

This means that we feel HABITUALLY unhappy,no matter what happens in our lives.

Your attitude and emotional reactions are NOT dependent upon whether or not you have a loving relationship.

But if you believe that enjoyment of life is impossible unless you have a mate who lives up to your expectations, you condemn yourself to a sorrowful plight.

In addition, as long as you express this emotionally dependency, you really cannot attract or find a positive, emotionally balanced person to bond with.

Emotional negativity will REPEL emotionally healthy people and ATTRACT people who are emotionally weak and unreliable.

The way to marital bliss begins with developing your ability to live in unconditional love and joy.

Happy, loving people attract happy, loving people and build beautiful, lasting relationships.

Take your first step in this direction by taking total responsibility for your emotional reactions and the attitudes toward your life and toward the people in your life.

Then patiently and persistently work on living with more trust that whatever is happening, as you also trust that as long as you remain open to receive the great relationship you want, it will come.

As you develop your ability to live in unconditional love and happiness, your “relationship problem” will disappear.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Posted in Relationship Help |

Nora Ephron – Creating Beautiful Relationships That Won Hearts

By Neha Arora
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Nora Ephron

“This was the modern woman understanding how to cope with the reality and new rules of the modern family.” - Robert Bookman on Nora Ephron (Photo Courtesy: thedailybeast.com)

 

“This was the modern woman understanding how to cope with the reality and new rules of the modern family.” -  Robert Bookman on Nora Ephron

When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle – many of us have seen these films, loved the stories, admired the clearly etched positive characters, the beautiful, touching relationships they portrayed and their happy, romantic endings.

Nora Ephron – the filmmaker, Oscar-nominated screenwriter, journalist and director who crafted these films knew how to make viewers feel good about watching a movie
and leave the show with a thought “What if I was in a relationship like this….”

Personal life

It is not that Nora Ephron had a trouble free life. She had her share of ups and downs in her personal life. She married thrice. Her first marriage to writer Dan Greenburg lasted for nine years. Her second marriage to investigative journalist Carl Bernstein in 1976 had a tumultuous end after she found out about her husband’s extra-marital affair.

But a strong woman that she was, she emerged from her personal problems. She wrote a novel – Heartburn in 1983 based on her personal life experiences. Three years later, the novel was adapted into a film starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.

Advice for Relationship

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ―Lao Tzu

Having faced relationship problems in her marriage relationships, she deeply understood the need for positive, caring relationships in our lives. The strong, sure and confident women characters in her films aptly convey how we can turn negative experiences into positive with our own response to the problem.

Not surprisingly, her films enjoyed worldwide success as who doesn’t like to watch a beautiful, loving relationship take shape among ordinary people with whom you can identify instantly. She won a BAFTA Award for Best Original Screenplay for box office hit- When Harry Met Sally. She was nominated thrice for the Academy Award for Best Writing in original screenplay.

During the years that she worked in the movie industry, she made her mark as a strong and modern woman who carved a niche for herself in an industry mostly dominated by men. She never let personal setbacks come in her way of living her life the way she wanted to.

After two failed marriages, Nora Ephron finally found the true love of her life – screenwriter Nicholas Pileggi. She was married to him for more than 20 years until her death parted them.

Nora died on 26th June, 2012 at the age of 71. She was undergoing treatment for acute myeloid leukemia.

Her life inspires us to believe in true love. When you believe in yourself; no matter what the circumstances are and no matter how the world perceives you; you attract positive experiences and positive people in life.

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Posted in Relationship Help |

Relationship Tips To Fix A Relationship

By Bob Lancer
Monday, April 30th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Love Relationship

Relate in a calm, confident, natural, harmonious way and your relationships will work out wonderfully.

Every relationship is a wisdom school.

Whether you are involved in a moment of intimacy in your marriage, or a 3 minute business meeting with a client, there is always a higher purpose that brings two people together in the now.

Even dealing with a break up gives you an opportunity to learn and to grow.

If you focus on what you can learn while experiencing, say, a problem in communication in your marriage, you will find yourself well served by your effort.

In business relationships, as in personal relationships, you have an opportunity for self-improvement, and as you improve yourself, you improve your life.

As you work on forging a genuine bond of love with everyone, including difficult people, you strengthen your ability to build trust in a relationship and you create alliances that will support you on unseen levels.

Relationship compatibility takes care of itself when you remain compatible with your true self.

Often those who desperately want to know how to save a marriage would find their marriage improving if they stopped working so hard to save it!

Relate in a calm, confident, natural, harmonious way and your relationships will work out wonderfully.

Whatever form of relationship you are in, be it a friendship, a business or a romantic relationship, don’t PREtend, INtend.

Know what you intend to accomplish.

Before each encounter, think about what you want to achieve.  Think about the outcome you really and truly want for the two of you.

To improve communication in relationships, for instance, before you connect with a person with whom you have a communication problem, spend some time thinking of the way you want the communication between you to flow.

Envision yourself speaking and listening calmly and confidently.  Imagine a wonderful bond of loving harmony and understanding blossoming between you.  Imagine the two of you better off because of the time you spent together.

Here is how to fix a relationship: fix your inner vision on the way
that you really want the relationship to flow.

Waste no effort trying to coerce or force another to cooperate with you in any way.

Remember that every relationship is a wisdom school teaching you how to achieve all that you want in life.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Serious Relationship Help: How to Fall in Love AGAIN

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

"Make your relationship better"

Creating imaginative ways to bring joy into your relationship can solve a marriage problem by bringing healing to both of your hearts.

Relationship in trouble? Feeling the relationship blahs? Missing that magical spark? Want more FUN in your relationship?

Before you consider a break up here is a way to wake up to your relationship dream come true! All you have to do is to fall in love with your mate, AGAIN.

And recharging that spark of feeling in love in your relationship is really easy to do.

That wonderful soul mate energy that kept you so high on life is available right away.

Here is the formula for a happy marriage: Shift from being a complainer to being a creator!

Instead of complaining that your mate is not more loving, more considerate, more passionate, think up ways to create good times for you to share. That kindles the fire of perfect match energy!

Please take this fun-relationship advice most seriously.

It is a proven way to make your relationship more joyful, to make your relationship more passionate, to make your relations more magical… because it is how to fall in love again.

Stop complaining about the way that you are being ignored, taken for granted, argued with, critiqued. Instead, come up with a creative way to a nice time together. Don’t let your serious relationship get too serious!

Relationship Tips to Fall In Love again:

  • Be like children together and color a picture with crayons!
  • Pretend you are in a romantic movie together.
  • Dance during the commercials!
  • Before you see your mate again, think up a creative way to greet him or her. You might sing your hello, opera style, even if you have a terrible voice.

Bringing more creativity into your marriage can save you the time and money of going to a marriage counselor!

Instead of being reactive, be creative! This is real marriage help.

Even if your mate doesn’t choose to play along, even if he or she seems displeased. Just try another approach. Keep working at creating good, happy times together. That’s how to be irresistible!

And as YOU work on thinking up creative ways to create sweet moments with your mate, YOUR heart will open and your love will flow.

Creating imaginative ways to bring joy into your relationship can solve a marriage problem by bringing healing to both of your hearts. It can work better than trying to work out your issues.

Creating now, delightful times that you share brings newness into a long-term relationship. And isn’t newness part of what makes falling in love so special?

Have you applied this relationship advice in your love life? Share in this blog some creative ideas that you have put into action to recharge your marriage.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Be Patient With Yourself

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Relationship Advice

Patience is part of personal growth because we can usually only make slight improvements at a time.

One important form of marriage help we need is patience with ourselves.

When we squabble with our mate, we may become frustrated with our own poor performance.

We might have promised ourselves repeatedly that we will not fall into arguing angrily again, but then, we find ourselves once again slipping into the same angry pattern.

Feeling angry with ourselves for our mistakes and feeling insecure about the consequences are actually healthy signs and productive starts for self-improvement.

The important thing is that we do not become stuck in those negative emotional states, but rather harness their energy by turning it into the drive to do better in the relationship.

To guide our way of relating for better results, we need to face the costs of our miss-steps.

Patience is part of personal growth because we can usually only make slight improvements at a time.

We need to trust our best efforts to handle things even the tiniest bit better in our marriage.

To help your marriage, in what ways do YOU need to change?

What relationship problems are caused or worsened by YOUR impatience?

Share your thoughts, experiences and questions about patience in this blog.

Work on making achievable improvements in your self-direction for a happier marriage.

If you have a history of losing your temper and calling your spouse derogatory “names” during arguments, notice how you feel afterwards. You probably feel pretty badly about yourself when you are done.

However your mate behaves, it does not justify your verbal abusiveness.

Strive right then and there to better handle your own negative feelings afterwards, by, perhaps, not dwelling on thoughts that feed your anxiety or your anger.

Trust that even this tiny change is enough FOR NOW for the marriage help you need.

 

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Facing Loneliness

By Bob Lancer
Friday, July 29th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Advice for Relationship
Feelings of love promote health and healing. Feelings of loneliness cause the body to shut down.

No force in life challenges us more than love.

Advice about love is one of the most popular categories in the self-help genre.

Because love is such a beautiful experience, we want it so badly when we feel its absence.

To be as happy as we want to be, we need love. Advice that pertains to love also pertains to fulfillment.

The human body is designed for love. Feelings of love promote health and healing. Feelings of loneliness cause the body to shut down.

It is common to expect that the cure for

loneliness is relationships.

But advice that tells you to seek relationships to escape loneliness is superficial at best.

Do you expect a relationship to rescue you from loneliness?

What was the loneliest period of your life?

Share your thoughts and questions about loneliness and love in this blog.

No other person or group can totally satisfy our need for love, at least not all of the time.

Feelings of loneliness are a sign that you need to connect

more deeply with YOURSELF.

Love advice should not just be about romantic relationships. It should be about how to grow into a more loving person.

You do not really receive love FROM another unless it is love

FOR another or for yourself.

When another shows you love, if you feel deeply touched by it, it is because it causes you to fall in love with yourself.

To fill yourself with love is to free yourself from loneliness. No other person can be counted on to do this for you on a constant basis.

To fill yourself with love, think about what you can do for yourself, or for another, that will dissolve every trace of your inner darkness or emptiness.

Loneliness is a sign that you need more love. Advice that directs you toward being more loving toward yourself and others leads to your release.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Relationship Help |