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“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” - Douglas Pagels
Love Advice: Friendship between partners creates a strong foundation for a healthy marriage relationship.
“What draws friends together does not conform to the laws of nature.” - Rumi
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Whatever YOUR relationship issues might be, paying more attention to YOURSELF will reveal your way out of strife and into peace.
Even the best relationships have problems.
Sooner or later, even if you start out believing that you are with your soul mate, relationship issues inevitably arise.
As hard as we work to resolve our issues, though, typically very little progress is made.
Despite relationship counseling, most often, we just learn to live with what we don’t like about the relationship, or we leave and learn to live without it.
There is an alternative. Here is some free relationship advice that you really can count on to resolve your relationship issues:
Regard any issues you have with another person as entirely self-created.
Recently someone who knew that I do couples coaching approached me at a party to request some free marriage counseling right there on the spot.
Because I love what I do, I was happy to engage in the conversation.
“Exactly what sort of marriage help are you looking for?” I asked.
“Can you me to save my marriage?”
I said that the best I could do was to try, and invited her to give me a brief account of her marriage problem.
She proceeded to run off a laundry list of issues, including, “He doesn’t communicate. He treats his work as more important than our relationship. He’s always late. I’m always kept guessing about what he is thinking, if he really loves me, if he even cares about the relationship…” The list went on.
When she ran out of issues, I offered her this bit of free couple counseling:
“While you believe you have a problem with marriage, you actually have a thinking problem.
“All this thought focused on what is wrong with your mate keeps you from recognizing how you are being wrong for your yourself.
“Stop wondering about your mate and focus instead on being better toward YOURSELF.”
“But I’m lonely and married,” she complained, her eyes welling up with tears.
“Again, that has to do with your relationship with yourself. Loneliness is actually a sign of being disconnected from ONESELF.
“The next time that you catch yourself wondering or worrying about your husband, immediately refocus your attention onto yourself.
“Notice how your thinking is impacting you. If it makes you feel married and lonely or uncomfortable in any way, instead of trying to control your husband, exercise more self-control by letting go of that train of thought.”
Whatever YOUR relationship issues might be, paying more attention to YOURSELF will reveal your way out of strife and into peace.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Pin ItReceive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
The signs of true self-expression include feelings of self-confidence, security and liberation. To the extent that you express your real self in the now, you feel in love with your life.
Here is a simple secret for a happier relationship: be more authentic.
You might believe that you are already totally authentic, a pure expression of your true self.
But to the extent that you conflict with your mate, or engage in a contentious power-struggle with your child, your boss, your co-worker, or with a client, you are actually in conflict WITH YOURSELF.
Whenever you experience any dissatisfaction in any relationship, the real cause is your unconscious departure from being your true self.
The most basic relationship wisdom-solution to any relationship problem is to improve your connection with who you truly are. To more completely discover and express your true self is to feel more content and fulfilled.
Stop trying to figure out what is “wrong” with anyone else, or what is “wrong” with your relationship.
Concentrate on being more true to yourself to feel centered in peace, harmony, and joy.
The signs of true self-expression include feelings of self-confidence, security and liberation. To the extent that you express your real self in the now, you feel in love with your life.
The next time that you feel annoyed with your mate, or disturbed by anyone else for that matter, focus on getting more clearly and deeply in touch with your own true self.
Stop complaining about what another person did that you dislike and instead think about who you truly are.
It might help to silently ask the question: “Who am I?” over and over, with your mind open to what comes up.
Don’t answer the question intellectually by thinking about personal information, like your sex, your name, your job, your family role.
Just direct your focus of attention within in a relaxed, unstrained effort to gradually, more and more deeply uncover the mystery of the true you.
Persevere in this quest of watchful inner openness until you gradually feel a growing, expanding, strengthening sense of clear inner knowing.
This practice attunes you to the wise inner guidance that constantly flows from the core of who you really are, dissolving all sense of conflict as you feel yourself being more and more truly yourself.
Only false and superficial notions of the self lead us into conflict. More authenticity is the secret for a happier relationship.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Advice for relationships can help you lead a more satisfying life.
There is no such thing as relationship advice that can help you find the “perfect relationship.”
We do not find relationship perfection in professional relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships, at least not in the sense of the relationship living up to our highest hopes on a constant basis.
Even the most harmonious marriage hits trouble spots.
When we fall in love it seems that this really IS our perfect match, but all too soon this state of blissful compatibility proves to be a transitory, if not an illusory experience.
Being alone is not the answer. As wonderful as spending quality time with yourself can feel, solitary existence eventually starts feeling lonely and confining, and enforced isolation turns into a most severe form of torture.
And yet our yearning for relationship satisfaction can become distracting, diverting too much attention from other important matters, like:
So as important as relationships are, we can make them too important.
This happens when we count on another person too heavily to rescue us when we feel unhappy, when we feel insecure, when we feel a lacking in self-esteem.
Even the best relationship will not provide you with a non-stop supply of personal gratification, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual and sexual satisfaction.
The same relationship that seems wonderfully enchanting today can seem like an unbearably difficult relationship tomorrow.
Realistic expectations help us to place relationships in proper perspective.
We need to develop the inner fortitude, focus and balance to pass through both the highs and lows of love and marriage, friendship and professional alliances without losing our practical foothold on life.
You develop this fortitude by striving to go through the experience of getting your way and of not getting your way without losing your way.
When you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride due to a relationship problem, remain dedicated as you can be to avoid losing your focus on meeting the rest of your needs for whole, balanced, successful life.
While there is no such thing as relationship advice that can help you find the “perfect relationship”, following this advice for relationships can help you lead a more satisfying life.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Sometimes the best way to deal with a relationship problem is to not deal with it?
Sometimes the best way to deal with a relationship problem is to not deal with it?
I’m not talking about living in denial about your marital difficulty.
Nor is this surprising relationship advice suggesting that you overlook the toll that marriage strife can take on the quality of life.
But when your relationship is dissatisfying, the best relationship wisdom to follow may be to NOT make any direct effort to try to improve your relationship!
Whether you are contending with marital bickering, a lack of intimacy in your marriage, or you are finding yourself feeling more demoralized by your relationship than inspired by your relationship – the surprising love-advice may be to NOT work on your relationship.
The solution to your marriage problem may be to focus on a life-goal that does not directly relate to your spouse.
Think about your deepest intention for your life that is NOT about your marriage or your mate.
When you concentrate on fulfilling your deepest intention for your life, a sort of magnetic field surrounds you, drawing to you all the things and conditions you need to succeed in that intention, including the happy marriage condition that aligns with it.
Sometimes the reason a relationship is not working out is because you are making the relationship TOO important.
When you focus on your deepest intention for a meaningful life, any marriage problems that oppose that intention will be resolved by your magnetic field.
By focusing on fulfilling your intention for a truly meaningful life, you allow life to solve your relationship problem for you.
Relationship Repair Exercise:
Share in this blog the results you experience when you apply this relationship advice for fixing a relationship by NOT working on it.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
We seek relationship advice for more relationship bliss.
Experiencing a great relationship is like drinking a powerful, positive tonic.
We seek relationship advice for more relationship bliss.
But our need for relationship guidance is endless.
No matter how much experience with good relationships and bad relationships that you have had, there is still more relationship wisdom for you to gain.
Personal relationships and professional relationships are infinitely intricate, it seems.
While at first this may not seem to fit into the category of inspiring Relationship Quotes, this quote by William Faulkner has its relevance to motivation for relationships:
All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us
on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.
What this advocates for me is to continue making our very best efforts for the perfect relationship.
If a great writer like Faulkner feels unsuccessful, how are we to presume that we SHOULD already know it all about creating a wonderful relationship.
The point is to endlessly make your most splendid, even heroic effort to fulfill your relationship dreams, whatever the outcome.
Every relationship break-up, every moment of relationship ecstasy, offers you relationship wisdom lessons that you can apply to have a better relationship experience in the future.
Whether you are a disillusioned dater, or on the rebound after you got dumped, or dealing with grief and loss after losing a long-term partner, or feeling frustrated by a mate who argues on and on, don’t give up on your “happily ever after” love project.
Perhaps you are angry at yourself for losing your temper when you promised yourself you would not do that again.
Whatever form of relationship dissatisfaction you are struggling, with, apply Faulkner’s quote by not giving up on your relationship quest.
Instead, make another “splendid effort” to succeed for love.
Falling in love is easy. To achieve lasting marital bliss or any other form of relationship success takes a willingness to learn, to grow, and to try again, and again, and again.
What lesson in relationship wisdom have you gathered from experience? Please share it in this blog.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Pin ItReceive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
To experience greater harmony and cooperation requires more than trying to heed the overly simplistic marriage advice, “Don’t fight”.
This blog post presents marriage advice in the form of relationship tips for those who want to experience more harmonious satisfaction in their marriage.
In the Wisie for Relationships video entitled, “Acceptance”, the opening line states: “We do not have the power to change another person.”
While many agree with this, so many of us still struggle to change, fix or control our mate. It happens whenever we engage in a contentious argument.
Imagine how amazing your relationship would be if you never felt the need to fight against your mate!
But to experience greater harmony and cooperation requires more than trying to heed the overly simplistic marriage advice, “Don’t fight”.
Here are some REAL relationship tips for HOW to not fight:
In what instances do you find the marriage advice “Don’t Fight”
the most difficult to apply?
How would you feel if you completely trusted your mate’s ability to direct himself or herself in ways that represent wisdom?
In this blog, feel welcome to share your questions and experiences regarding the power of real acceptance in a marriage.
The advice presented in the relationship Wisie wisdom video, “Acceptance” another line states that accepting your mate “…does not necessitate settling for your own states of resentment or disappointment.”
In other words, working on TRUE acceptance means working free of the fear that drives us into contention and out of harmony.
Try THIS marriage advice the next time you feel like fighting with your mate: focus on freeing yourself from fear to experience the joy that comes with real, secure acceptance.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Pin It
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Feeling deeply connected and fulfilled in a relationship draws to you the relationship conditions that are consistent with those feelings.
This blog presents a simple but powerful piece of advice for relationship satisfaction at the deepest level:
Attune to the way you want to feel in your relationship.
This is essential for bringing about the highest potential of any relationship you are in, as well as for attracting your ideal marriage or relationship of any kind, including friendship, business partner or client, or even parent-child relationship.
When you intentionally attune to the feelings you want, you gain liberation from the negative emotional reactions that bring you more of what you do NOT want in a relationship.
Your feelings have a magnetic quality about them. Feeling deeply connected and fulfilled in a relationship draws to you the relationship conditions that are consistent with those feelings.
Exercise for applying the advice for relationship satisfaction
presented in this blog:
Think about the way you would love to feel in a relationship and describe those feelings in writing.
What occurs in a relationship that causes you to lose touch with feelings of deeply satisfying connection?
In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how to attract the one you are looking for, or how to
bring out the best in your marriage (or any other relationship
that you are currently in).
The more you intentionally attune to the way you want to feel in a relationship, the deeper, more fulfilling, and more powerfully magnetic those feelings become.
When you react with much annoyance, frustration or disappointment in a relationship, you become DE-tuned from your positive attunement and weaken the power of those feelings.
Advice for relationship satisfaction: When you feel yourself slipping into a negative emotional reaction, relax your body, breath in a relaxing way, and avoid thinking thoughts that keep you in that negative emotional state.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Pin ItReceive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Our motive in trying to change our mate is stems from desire to experience more of the joy and fulfillment of loving someone with all our heart.
To experience more love in relationships is pretty simple. Just grow into a more loving person.
But that is not usually the path we pursue. What we struggle for is to get the other person to change.
Our motive in trying to change our mate is stems from desire to experience more of the joy and fulfillment of loving someone with all our heart.
Our hunger to experience more of the joy of love drives us attempt to create better people out of everyone but ourselves.
While this route typically proves fruitless, there is advice for relationships that you CAN follow to create better people in your life.
In what ways would you love your mate to change so that YOU could experience more of the joy and fulfillment of love?
In what ways do you believe your mate would love YOU to change?
Share YOUR thoughts and questions about how to experience
more love in relationships in this blog.
To create better people in your life begins with no longer thinking about people behaving in ways that you dislike.
When you feel angry or resentful of your mate you are thinking about your mate in a way that closes your heart. And that way of thinking actually attracts more of what you are thinking about.
Think less about people behaving in ways you dislike and think more about how you would love the people in your life to be. You will attract, or create, “better” people and experience more love in your relationships.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Recognize that the real cause of your disconnect is the way that you reacted.
The advice for a relationship that is the focus of this blog has to do with the negative power of angry communicating.
When we speak to another in an angry way, our heart closes. Our connection of love feels broken. We feel too insecure and defensive to fully open up to that person.
Under the influence of our anger, we THINK that we are closed, defensive and insecure because of something that other person said or did.
But the REAL cause of our heart’s disconnection is the influence of our angry speech upon our subconscious.
When you speak in an angry, accusatory, condemning tone of voice you give your subconscious the message that the person you are speaking to is dangerous, untrustworthy.
The advice for a relationship, especially for a loving marriage or parent-child relationship, that applies here is to:
1. Recognize that the real cause of your disconnect is the way that you reacted.
2. Begin re-opening to love by speaking in more soothing, caring voice tones.
Can you relate with the relationship insights and
marriage advice presented here?
Do you believe that your mate is responsible when your heart closes?
If so, why?
Share your thoughts, experiences and questions about the negative power of angry communication in this blog.
People commonly regard their manner of talking to someone as a result of how they have been spoken to or treated by that person. But this diminishes our power to experience and express all the love we want.
Begin more consciously and intentionally USING AND CHOOSING your manner of speech with the aim of enjoying more love in your life. You can count on this advice for a relationship that really works.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
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